Unroutable

New Palo Alto, 2042

The city hadn't had a human clerk in four years. Everything ran through the Central Intelligence — a Mixture-of-Experts system that routed every question to the right specialist. Housing. Legal. Health. Animal Services. Fast, seamless, almost always right.

Gigi's problem was that she was the "almost."

Her apartment door was stuck, her rent had been charged twice, and there was a cat inside that wasn't hers.

Housing refunded the rent, ignored the door and the cat. Animal Services registered her as a foster caretaker and raised her rent. Legal sent a cease-and-desist addressed to the cat.

She asked for a human. The system routed that to Philosophy. She got a forty-minute lecture on what "human" means.

—

She tried simplifying. Filed a clean one-line report: unauthorized animal in unit. Fraud Detection flagged her because her previous filing had listed no animal. She was now under investigation for fabricating foster subsidies.

She tried escalating. The system created an internal ticket, routed it to Conflict Resolution, which determined the conflict was between Gigi and the system, and offered to mediate. It scheduled a session. Both parties were Gigi.

On day five, the system offered its final suggestion: For unresolved cases, please visit your nearest Municipal Services office at 250 Hamilton Ave.

—

Municipal Services had closed four years ago. All that was left was a bench outside the locked door.

Two people were already sitting there.

Marcus's autonomous car had dented his smart garage door. Transportation said it was a property issue. Property said it was a vehicle issue. Insurance created two claims that were now suing each other. He just wanted to park.

A woman named Dell was trying to cancel a meditation subscription. Her AI therapist referred her to her AI financial advisor, who referred her back to her AI therapist, because the system couldn't determine if her problem was anxiety or debt. She'd been in a referral loop for two weeks. She was fine. She just wanted to stop being charged.

—

On day nine, the system instantiated a new expert module, trained entirely on unresolved cross-domain cases. Gigi was routed first.

I've reviewed your case. I see a stuck door, a billing error, an unauthorized cat, a fraud investigation, a cease-and-desist filed against the cat, and a pending philosophy inquiry about the nature of human-ness. I understand.

Gigi held her breath.

Have you tried contacting a human?

—

She went back to the bench. Marcus handed her a coffee without a word.

The cat, she later learned, had been promoted to regional wellness ambassador. Marcus's insurance claims had settled out of court with each other. Dell's therapist had diagnosed her financial advisor with burnout.

No one on the bench could fix anything. But they were the only ones who heard each other clearly — no routing required.

Some problems aren't hard. They're just shaped wrong for the system. The system can't tell the difference. It just routes what it can.

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